Feeding the Baby
At the end of the day fed is truly the best! This is a safe space for parents, no matter how they feed their baby. This is the experience I had with breastfeeding my first child.
Spoilers: it was not ideal and I shed a lot of tears.
I started writing this in August of 2019 while I was still breastfeeding my first kiddo, and to put it lightly I was having a lot of feelings at this time….
Written originally August 23,2019, edited February 16, 2022
Oh it's World Breastfeeding Week, grabs box...
We aren't going to argue about breastmilk vs. formula-because if you are the type of person that shames a parent about how they are feeding their child you’re aren’t helping. There are two routes of breastfeeding (chestfeeding is another and inclusive way to describe this); direct feeding and indirect feeding. Direct feeding is feeding breastmilk directly from the breast, indirect feeding is feeding breastmilk from a bottle after pumping. It is a nursing parent’s choice to nurse or not, and how they nurse is also their decision. This week should be about celebrating the parents who made it nursing, no matter how long they nursed their kiddos.
On the personal side of things, I wanted to breastfeed my little bearcub from the get go. If my body could handle nursing, then I wanted to give her all that I could. I mean they was a parasite for “40” weeks, so what is working super hard for her food another 12 months? First, I should explain that we didn’t take a birthing course or a breastfeeding course because who has an extra $300 lying around when you’re about to have a baby? I also neglected to do enough of my own research about breastfeeding prior to birth. In the hospital I had several nurses attempting to help us latch and nurse. Bearcub was struggling, even though we could hand express milk out on to a spoon and feed them-latching was proving super difficult. Then we tried a shield, because I have flat nipples (didn’t know that was a thing before) and that helped them latch a little but my goodness nursing hurt me so badly. Bearcub lost too much of their birth weight, and we gave them donated breastmilk and they finally gave me the breast pump. I filled the tiny vials instantly with my own milk.
This is my biggest complaint of my time in the hospital. Yes, I wanted to breastfeed-but when it is obviously being a struggle and also obvious that I have milk for my little one the pump should have been an option sooner so we wouldn’t have needed to use the donor milk. (Side note: Donor milk is incredibly important and I’m glad it was an option. However, I would’ve liked that milk to have gone to someone whose milk hadn’t come in yet.) I know the focus of breastfeeding is for baby to be on the breast, but honestly no one asked if I was interested in pumping until 10-12 hours after I delivered my child. I also wonder how labor and delivery wards respond to people who want to exclusively pump from the get go.
We continued trying to nurse directly after going home, but it was so painful for me. We went to a lactation consultant, but we didn’t get enough to make direct nursing feel better. Maybe I should’ve made more appointments, but those appointments look at if the baby is latching correctly and if I am making milk. We weren’t given any new tools after our first appointment. I felt stuck. I also only had 6 weeks off (2 weeks paid and 4 unpaid), and it didn’t feel like I had enough time to fight nursing vs. pumping, physically heal from birth, bond with my new baby, and lean how to parent a newborn. I kept pumping to try and settle into a supply (fun fact: Did you know milk supply regulates at 12 weeks? I didn’t know that until I was 5 months postpartum) and to ensure that if a latch didn’t happen I could feed the bearcub. Pumping also allowed my partner to help out overnight, as there was a bottle ready and I didn’t have to be the only one waking up for middle of the night feedings.
We were able to feed her only breastmilk until she was 3 months old, then she wanted and needed to eat more than I was making so we started supplementing her diet with formula occasionally when my supply wouldn’t cover the need.
Stands on box
There is little to no research on pumping breastmilk. There is little to no support systems for pumping breastmilk. The stigma of bringing out a bottle to feed your baby means that you are feeding you baby formula (newsflash: Fed is Best!). That stigma rolls off of telling women to cover up or go someplace hidden from the public eye when direct nursing. I would love to tell certain grown adults that seeing them eat is gross and they should eat in a small tent or to go out of the public eye. Ha!
As a person who exclusively pumps for their kiddo, I feel unsupported by society.
Society wants me to feed my kiddo breastmilk
Society doesn’t want me to direct nurse in public
Society doesn’t require enough of employers to actually support nursing parents (Society doesn’t support parents in general)
Society doesn’t want me to pump in public
Society doesn’t see breast pumps (or the need to have more than one style) as something fully required and insurance only covers so much of the cost
This varies by insurance company, some will fully cover certain brands but not others. This doesn’t allowing a nursing parent to choose the best fit for them if insurance doesn’t cover a variety of options
Society doesn’t support parents who want to take time off to bond with their new child (The US doesn’t require paid parental leave for the gestational parent or the non-gestational parent)
Indirect nursing is still breastfeeding! Breastfeeding means that baby is eating milk produced by the breast. Stop shaming parents if indirect nursing is better for them (because it very well could be the only option). I exclusively pump, meaning my kiddo does not nurse directly ever. I pump 4-6 times a day, for 30-45 minutes at a time. I own two pumps, one that needs to be plugged in to function (a Spectra) and one that holds a charge and can be worn stealthily (a double Elvie). I don’t make enough to feed my bearcub only breastmilk so we do supplement with formula as well.
I pumped 338 days for my first child, averaging 5-6 pumps per day at 40 minutes each. Meaning I was pumping 200-240 minutes every single day.
That is a total of 67,600-81,200 minutes
1,127-1,353 hours across in total
I am very proud of what I accomplished and was able to produce for my child.
I learned a lot about my body, and about breastfeeding/chestfeeding and I am excited to put that knowledge to further use and continue learning with my next child due in May 202.
